Two and a Half Men

Pilot

2003-09-22 · 23m

Carefree jingle writer Charlie Harper has his lifestyle altered when his uptight brother and his 10-year-old nephew move in with him.

E02

Episode 2

Big Flappy Bastards

2003-09-29 · 21m

Despite warnings from Charlie, Jake continues to feed seagulls on the deck and the birds invade the house. Meanwhile, Charlie thinks Judith is taking advantage of Alan, who keeps going to her house to fix things.

Still from Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell

E03

Episode 3

Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell

2003-10-06 · 21m

Jake wants to go home to his mom after he gets sick, prompting Alan to think he's a failure as a husband and now as a father.

Still from If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap

E04

Episode 4

★ 7.4

If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap

2003-10-13 · 21m

Charlie can't function when his housekeeper storms off because of Alan's constant complaints, so Alan tries desperately to woo her back. Meanwhile, Rose comes to Charlie for dating advice.

Still from The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump

E05

Episode 5

The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump

2003-10-20 · 19m

Alan and Charlie have encounters with some highly libidinous soccer moms, but with two very different outcomes.

Still from Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?

E06

Episode 6

Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?

2003-10-27 · 21m

The guys go to Evelyn's house to meet the new man she's dating, and Charlie realizes the man's daughter is a woman he's trying to avoid.

Still from If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake

E07

Episode 7

★ 7.7

If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake

2003-11-03 · 21m

Judith is upset with Alan and Charlie when she learns that a surfer who uses Charlie's shower walks around half naked in front of Jake . Then Alan's worried when Judith and the surfer become friends.

Still from Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful

E08

Episode 8

Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful

2003-11-10 · 19m

Alan tricks Charlie into joining him and Judith in leading Jake and his classmates in the school's annual music show.

E09

Episode 9

★ 6.8

Phase One, Complete

2003-11-17 · 21m

Charlie is convinced that a woman who spent the night with him wants to turn their relationship into something serious after she befriends Jake and Evelyn.

E10

Episode 10

★ 7.0

Merry Thanksgiving

2003-11-24 · 21m

Realizing he's losing someone special, Charlie plans a Thanksgiving dinner to convince her he's a family guy and that she should be with him.

Still from Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

E11

Episode 11

★ 6.8

Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

2003-12-15 · 20m

When Alan is surprised to see that Judith has had a makeover and is dating a man, he decides to have Charlie help him transform his image.

E12

Episode 12

★ 7.0

Camel Filters and Pheromones

2004-01-05 · 21m

Berta's granddaughter spends the day at Charlie's, which isn't a problem until he learns she's a beautiful, rebellious 16-year-old.

E13

Episode 13

★ 6.6

Sarah Like Puny Alan

2004-01-12 · 20m

Charlie nurses an ailing Alan back to health so they can go on a double date with two sisters, one of whom Charlie's been wanting to date for a long time.

E14

Episode 14

I Can't Afford Hyenas

2004-02-02 · 21m

Charlie's financial manager informs the carefree jingle writer that he spends money faster than his royalty checks come in, and now he must go on a budget.

Still from Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick

E15

Episode 15

★ 6.8

Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick

2004-02-09 · 21m

Charlie invites a mysterious, slightly crazed woman to stay at the house until she can settle some family problems.

E16

Episode 16

★ 6.9

That Was Saliva, Alan

2004-02-16 · 21m

Charlie is perplexed when Frankie, the mysterious woman temporarily living in the Harper household, begins falling for Alan and not him.

Still from Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats

E17

Episode 17

Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats

2004-02-23 · 20m

Charlie's still brooding over Alan's choice of their cousin as Jake's guardian if both parents die when the boy has an accident while in his care and has to be rushed to the hospital.

E18

Episode 18

★ 7.0

An Old Flame with a New Wick

2004-03-01 · 21m

Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man.

Still from I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You

E19

Episode 19

★ 7.1

I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You

2004-03-22 · 19m

Judith's devious siren sister stirs things up at Jake's 11th birthday party when she hits on Alan. Meanwhile, Evelyn brings alcohol and has a party of her own.

Still from Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark

E20

Episode 20

★ 6.9

Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark

2004-04-19 · 21m

Jake's sullen mood baffles and bothers the family and prompts Alan and Judith to take him to a child psychologist.

E21

Episode 21

★ 6.9

No Sniffing, No Wowing

2004-05-03 · 21m

Charlie plays a tricky game when he gets involved with Alan's divorce lawyer, who could make things difficult for Alan if she were, say, dumped by a self-centered lothario.

E22

Episode 22

My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet

2004-05-10 · 21m

When Charlie discovers that Alan is sleepwalking, he believes it's related to his brother's lack of sex following his divorce, and comes up with a cure.